Tuesday, March 10, 2009

do destiny exist??

many believes and still believes that destiny is true/...

what is destiny??

Once upon a time when i was a young boy at the age of 3

my father is always telling me some stories about fantasies and destinies...
and i strongly believe in his stories and
i also believe in destiny in that time..
but when my father died...
i ended up believing destiny..

and i asked my self..
does my father destiny is to die???


when i was in first year high school my teacher
in english said that
"life is a matter of choice"

you will be the one who will make your own way your own destiny///

at the present time..

i am a fourth year student..
a graduating student..

in this time im going to angeles city,pampanga into the Holy Angel Univ. to inquire and
pass my entrance form to get my
entrance exam schedule

i once have a girl friend in texting when im 11 y/o and im not able to see her..
i really love this girl..
but the time comes she went to sta. rosa laguna and
the globe prepaid doesnt have signal so
we wont have any communications..

till i go to angeles city..
and i ride in a jeepney to transport me into the university
and i saw a two girl..
smiling.. i didnt have any clue..
until i asked them if they are also going at HAU..
they answered yes..

and when we alight into the jeepney
they asked me if i was ALLEO..
waaaaa??? shocking??/ how did they know??

AHA..!!! and she introduce her self

"ako kaya si keith"


kaya pala nagssmile kasi tinitignan ung i.d ko ^_^

pareho pa color damit namin...!!

after this happeningss...


i therefore conclude that destiny is really exist in this world

in some matters

i love you keith

Monday, February 16, 2009

a nice Song For Lovers...

All I am, all I'll be
Everything in this world
All that I'll ever need
Is in your eyes
Shining at me
When you smile I can feel
All my passion unfolding
Your hand brushes mine
And a thousand sensations
Seduce me 'cause I

I do cherish you
For the rest of my life
You don't have to think twice
I will love you still
>From the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking do I love you this much
I do

In my world, before you
I lived outside my emotions
Didn't know where I was going
'Till that day I found you
How you opened my life
To a new paradise
In a world torn by change
Still with all my heart
'Till my dying day


Nice song huh? sing this song into your partner with using guitar or piano
i asure you
she/he will fall inlove with at the 2nd time around ^^

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Blog Till Death

Hello everyone
doesnt your blog have a pagerank or any backlinks?
do you want to have one? and recieve a linkback from a blog that is ranked 228,00 on Technorati.

its your chance to have one.....
i'll tell you the secret

this guy is very nice to give backlinks to other blogger or wordpress user...
just write a topic and link his site

this site is the biggest....
swap link

you can also advertise,search engine submit,ping services,blogging tools to his site

and he have a game
the best review wins $50 instantly
just what ive said
link his site
and he will link your site and you win nice huh?
so what are you waiting for? start reviewing his site now by going here http://voiceofbragg.com

see you around guys

when i die

when i die
ill be very
lonely specialy
when i haven't
said goodbye
you but dont wori
i will be back
not to scare you but to
hug youand say

im leaving na,
im gonna miss you

Monday, February 9, 2009

Soul Like The Vastest Sea

Your soul is like the vastest sea
And mine a darting fish:
I lose myself within your love;
I live within your heart.

I breathe your love: it is my air,
My element, my world.
I know no other ambiance;
I have no other dream.

I know there is outside your love
A world of rocks and sand;
And I could live there, too, but oh!
How poor and thin each breath!

How rich my world, how beautiful,
Alive within your love,
Each moment filled with dancing light
Refracted through your eyes!

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Current TV Ratings Philippines (January 20-26, 2009)

ABS-CBN’s new show, Tayong Dalawa enters the top 3 and poses a serious threat to Gagambino while La Lola and Luna Mystika stay safe in the first two spots.

Here are the top Daytime and Primetime TV shows based on Mega Manila ratings conducted by AGB-Nielsen Philippines.

January 20, Tuesday


  1. Eat Bulaga! (GMA-7) - 22.6%
  2. Wowowee (ABS-CBN) - 18.3%
  3. Saan Darating ang Umaga? (GMA-7) - 17.6%
  4. Daisy Siete (GMA-7) - 16.6%
  5. Pilipinas, Game KNB? (ABS-CBN) - 16.3%
  6. Pieta (ABS-CBN) - 14.9%
  7. Parekoy (ABS-CBN) - 14.8%
  8. Rosalinda (GMA-7) - 12.6%
  9. Boy & Kris (ABS-CBN) - 7.3%
  10. SiS (GMA-7) - 6.2%


  1. Lalola (GMA-7) - 33.1%
  2. Luna Mystika (GMA-7) - 32.9%
  3. Tayong Dalawa (ABS-CBN) - 32.6%
  4. 24 Oras (GMA-7) - 31.3%
  5. Gagambino (GMA-7) - 31.2%
  6. I Love Betty La Fea (ABS-CBN) - 27.9%
  7. Money War (GMA-7) - 26.8%
  8. TV Patrol World (ABS-CBN) - 26%
  9. Eva Fonda (ABS-CBN) - 25.6%
  10. Family Feud (GMA-7) - 21.1%

January 21, Wednesday


  1. Eat Bulaga! (GMA-7) - 22.8%
  2. Wowowee (ABS-CBN) - 18.3%
  3. Daisy Siete (GMA-7) - 17.3%
  4. Saan Darating ang Umaga? (GMA-7) - 16.9%
  5. Pieta (ABS-CBN) - 15.7%
  6. Parekoy (ABS-CBN) - 15.4%
  7. Pilipinas, Game KNB? (ABS-CBN) - 14.3%
  8. Rosalinda (GMA-7) - 14.1%
  9. SiS (GMA-7) - 9.6%
  10. Boy &Kris (ABS-CBN) - 5.8%


  1. Luna Mystika (GMA-7) - 31.9%
  2. 24 Oras (GMA-7) / Lalola (GMA-7) - 29.5%
  3. Tayong Dalawa (ABS-CBN) - 28.3%
  4. Money War (GMA-7) - 26.7%
  5. I Love Betty La Fea (ABS-CBN) - 26.7%
  6. Gagambino (GMA-7) - 25.5%
  7. TV Patrol World (ABS-CBN) - 25.4%
  8. Eva Fonda (ABS-CBN) - 21.8%
  9. Family Feud (GMA-7) - 20.7%
  10. Pinoy Fear Factor (ABS-CBN) - 20.2%

January 22, Thursday


  1. Eat Bulaga! (GMA-7) - 26.4%
  2. Daisy Siete (GMA-7) - 20.9%
  3. Saan Darating ang Umaga? (GMA-7) - 20.8%
  4. Wowowee (ABS-CBN) - 16.9%
  5. Parekoy (ABS-CBN) - 15.9%
  6. Pilipinas, Game KNB? (ABS-CBN) - 15.5%
  7. Pieta (ABS-CBN) - 13.6%
  8. Rosalinda (GMA-7) - 12%
  9. SiS (GMA-7) - 7.3%
  10. Boy & Kris (ABS-CBN) - 7%


  1. Luna Mystika (GMA-7) - 36%
  2. Lalola (GMA-7) - 31.8%
  3. 24 Oras (GMA-7) - 31.4%
  4. Gagambino (GMA-7) - 29.9%
  5. Tayong Dalawa (ABS-CBN) - 29.6%
  6. I Love Betty La Fea (ABS-CBN) - 27.3%
  7. Eva Fonda (ABS-CBN) - 25.4%
  8. Money War (GMA-7) - 25%
  9. TV Patrol World (ABS-CBN) - 24.8%
  10. Pinoy Fear Factor (ABS-CBN) - 22.1%

January 23, Friday


  1. Eat Bulaga! (GMA-7) - 24.4%
  2. Saan Darating ang Umaga? (GMA-7) - 20.4%
  3. Wowowee (ABS-CBN) - 19%
  4. Daisy Siete (GMA-7) - 18.2%
  5. Pilipinas, Game KNB? (ABS-CBN) - 16%
  6. Be Strong Geum Soon (GMA-7) - 14.5%
  7. Pieta (ABS-CBN) - 13.6%
  8. Parekoy (ABS-CBN) - 13.4%
  9. Rosalinda (GMA-7) - 12.6%
  10. La Traicion (ABS-CBN) - 8.9%


  1. Luna Mystika (GMA-7) - 34.4%
  2. Lalola (GMA-7) - 31.5%
  3. Gagambino (GMA-7) - 30.4%
  4. Tayong Dalawa (ABS-CBN) - 28.4%
  5. 24 Oras (GMA-7) - 28.3%
  6. Money War (GMA-7) - 27.3%
  7. I Love Betty La Fea (ABS-CBN) - 26%
  8. Family Feud (GMA-7) - 23.5%
  9. TV Patrol World (ABS-CBN) - 23.3%
  10. Eva Fonda (ABS-CBN) - 21.3%

January 24, Saturday


  1. Eat Bulaga! (GMA-7) - 23%
  2. Wowowee (ABS-CBN) - 21.2%
  3. Komiks Presents Mars Ravelo’s Dragonna (ABS-CBN) - 17.2%
  4. Wish Ko Lang (GMA-7) - 15.3%
  5. Cinema FPJ: Da King on ABS-CBN (ABS-CBN) - 14.7%
  6. Pinoy Records (GMA-7) - 14.6%
  7. Startalk (GMA-7) - 12.4%
  8. Entertainment Live (ABS-CBN) - 12.2%
  9. Takeshi’s Castle (ABS-CBN) - 9.9%
  10. Pilipinas, Game KNB? (ABS-CBN) - 9.8%


  1. Imbestigador (GMA-7) - 31.2%
  2. Kapuso Mo, Jessica Soho (GMA-7) -28.7%
  3. Bitoy’s Funniest Videos (GMA-7) - 28.4%
  4. Maalaala Mo Kaya (ABS-CBN) - 25.5%
  5. The Singing Bee (ABS-CBN) - 21.6%
  6. Kapuso Movie Festival: Anak ng Kumander (GMA-7) - 20.2%
  7. Kakasa Ka Ba Sa Grade 5? (GMA-7) - 19.9%
  8. Banana Split (ABS-CBN) - 15.7%
  9. XXX (ABS-CBN) - 13.4%
  10. TV Patrol World (ABS-CBN) - 9.2%

January 25, Sunday


  1. SOP (GMA-7) - 17.4%
  2. ASAP ‘08 (ABS-CBN) - 15.7%
  3. Showbiz Central (GMA-7) - 13.9%
  4. Dear Friend (GMA-7) - 12.8%
  5. Takeshi’s Castle (GMA-7) - 11.2%
  6. Your Song Presents My Only Hope (ABS-CBN) / The Buzz (ABS-CBN) - 10.7%
  7. Matanglawin (ABS-CBN) - 8.5%


  1. Kap’s Amazing Stories (GMA-7) / Mel & Joey (GMA-7) - 28.1%
  2. Family Feud: Celebrity Edition (GMA-7) - 28%
  3. Rated K (ABS-CBN) / Ful Haus (GMA-7) - 22.4%
  4. All Star K (GMA-7) - 21.8%
  5. The Singing Bee (ABS-CBN) - 20%
  6. Sharon (ABS-CBN) - 16%
  7. SNBO: Pinoy Meets World (GMA-7) - 15.6%
  8. TV Patrol World (ABS-CBN) - 13.3%
  9. Goin’ Bulilit (ABS-CBN) - 11.7%
  10. Sunday’s Best (ABS-CBN) - 3.9%

January 26, Monday


  1. Eat Bulaga! (GMA-7) - 25.6%
  2. Saan Darating ang Umaga? (GMA-7) - 18.9%
  3. Daisy Siete (GMA-7) - 17.5%
  4. Wowowee (ABS-CBN) - 16.6%
  5. Parekoy (ABS-CBN) - 15.9%
  6. Pilipinas, Game KNB? (ABS-CBN) - 14.7%
  7. Pieta (ABS-CBN) - 13.6%
  8. Rosalinda (GMA-7) - 12.3%
  9. Boy & Kris (ABS-CBN) - 8.1%
  10. SiS (GMA-7) - 7.8%


  1. Luna Mystika (GMA-7) - 32%
  2. Lalola (GMA-7) - 31%
  3. Tayong Dalawa (ABS-CBN) - 30.9%
  4. 24 Oras (GMA-7) - 30.1%
  5. Gagambino (GMA-7) - 29.1%
  6. I Love Betty La Fea (ABS-CBN) - 28%
  7. TV Patrol World (ABS-CBN) - 25.7%
  8. Money War (GMA-7) - 25.8%
  9. Eva Fonda (ABS-CBN) - 23.9%
  10. Family Feud (GMA-7) - 21.2%

Monday, February 2, 2009


may isang babae gusto makipag break sa
boyfriend niya kasi hindi na raw niya ito mahal

humingi ng favor yung bf niya
na kung pwede after 3months
nalang sila magbreak

pumayag yung girl
sa isang kondisyon


dalawang araw nalang bago mag 3months

na realize nung girl na love pa
tlaga niya yung guy...

pumunta siya sa bahay ng guy
to explain and to ask sorry
to continue thier relationship...

she was wondering
kung bakit maraming tao
sa bahay ng guy...

nakasalubong niya yung bestfriend
ng guy sabay bigay sa sulat

NOW YOUR FREE..." :cry: :cry:


a faThEr wAs
reading a newspaper
he doesn't want to be
disturb by his little girl

so he cut out the map
of the world....
he tOre iT to pieces
and gave it to her
to assemble

after a while
she returned to him
the map all in

in its everyplace....

the surprised father said:

the innocent girl replied:

a short quote

a 4 yeARs oLd AsKEd HEr dAD:
" y dOeS mY lEG cRaMp ANd cUDnt FeEl ANYtHinG?"
dAd aNSWeRED: "Ue LeG BumS NuMB f U LAy sTill ANd DNT mOve BcOZ bLoOd dSnt cIrCuL8 PRopERly."
WeN d GirL TurNEd 16,
She FElL inLove aND exPRieNCeD HeR 1St HEaRtBReAk.
1 DaY, dAd SaW His DaAUGhtER LAyINg StIL WyL hOlDing Her CHeSt.
dAD AsKEd heR:" waT'S wRoNg?"
D gIrL SeD: Im TrYIng 2 maKE mY HeArT cRaMp sO i Cud B nUMb aND wuD b HuRt No More.."


there was a girl
who loved her
more than her

after her sleep
she was so surprised
for what she saw

her bestfriend
who was beside her
full of blood

and his boyfriend
who was holding the knife

she called the police
and her boyfriend was
arrested and was
sentenced to death

after his boyfriends

one of her friend
told her



there was a boy
who was a son
of a raped victim

he was such a
loving boy

but his mom
hated him
so much
bcoz of the
reason she was
raped that's
why she gave birth

one day the mom shouted
the boy

but then one day
the mother realized
that she loved her
son so much
and she doesn't want
to lost it, and she's
ready to be a fulltime
good mother to the boy

on her way home after
mass on her BIRTHDAY

when she gOt home
she saw her son
blooding dead
and leaved a letter
for her



lOvers mEan stOry

there were
lovers in
the past
who used
to argue everyday

until one day
the bF called
his gf and invited
her gF to haVe
a serious talk

his gF went tO her bF's
hOuse and the bF bRought
hEr tO his rOOm

and then thE bF said

"iF yOu really love mEh give me what i want"

the giRl kissed her bF
and did somethin'

after the wonderfull "sEx"

the bF said
"you didn't let me talk for everything"
"what i really want is a break-up thanks for the sex i enjoyed it but i need to say goodbye" :C

You Cannot

You cannot Teach what
you dont know
you cannot give what you dont
you cannot forgive what you cant

you can love
even if your
not bein love back

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

"I'm the Go-Between Who Loves the Guy"

Dear Doctor Love

I need some advice. I had been secretly in love with someone, B., for the past 2 years. He and I are good friends, but he likes someone else, Kara, who is also my friend.
So since it didn't seem possible for me to express my feelings for him, I helped him court Kara. Then Kara decided that she wasn't ready to commit, and broke up with him.
He was so devastated that I didn't know what to do. He wanted me to help them come back together, so during our Christmas party, I got them to dance together. But somehow, I felt so sad I had to stop dancing and go somewhere to cry.
Then when he came back and told me that Kara had rejected him again, I just didn't know if I should feel glad or sad, or anything at all.
When I was about to leave the dance, he offered to send me off. We ended up discussing he and Kara. When he told me that he is willing to wait until Kara accepts him, I felt my heart die.
I was so sad that i just wanted to end my feelings for him. So I asked him to close his eyes, kissed him and said goodbye.
Since I didn't think we'd meet again, I thought everything would end there. But I cannot get my mind off him.
Then I met Kara yesterday at a party. We left together and talked about their relationship. She told me that she's hesitant about the outcome and thus is not confident enough to make up with B.
So I ended up encouraging her to accept B. Then I felt so rotten about myself that I went home to cry again.
I'm hopeless and I don't think I can take it anymore. I don't think I can continue being their go-between aunt-agony anymore, but I can't tell Kara that I love her boyfriend.
What should I do?
In need of a break,

My God! How much suffering can you inflict on yourself.
Stay out of their relationship!
Tell B. that he is too good to be with someone who doesn't love him and tell Kara that you don't want to be a go between. Also, don't tell either of them about your secret passion.
He won't be ready for you unless he gets over her so tell him he is worth much more than this kind of suffering. Then give it some time.
Meanwhile, act friendly to both.
IF he comes to you, tell him that you care, but that he needs to work it out for himself.
Tell him you know someone who likes him, but that you can't tell him till he gets over this. Then see what happens.
Besides, this is a self-esteem issue for you. Don't you think you deserve someone for yourself?
The only way to find out if there can really be anything between you and B. is to let him heal, and then see if he responds to you.
Also, I wouldn't spend that much time with either of them right now. Hang out with others. You may actually meet someone else that you like even better.
Waiting around won't get you anywhere and may actually be an unconscious statement that you don't think you can get your own guy.
Believe me, you can.!
Let me know how it goes. Good luck..

15 Tips to Increase Blog Traffic

The blogosphere is a big and busy world with over 100 million blogs and growing. How do you attract visitors to your blog? Follow these simple tips to drive traffic to your blog.

1. Write Well and Write Often

Frequently updating your blog with useful content is the first step to building your blog's audience. The content you write is what will keep readers coming back for more. Make sure you have something meaningful to say to them and say it often to maintain their interest and keep them loyal.

Furthermore, post frequently to increase the number of chances you have for your blog's content to be noticed by search engines such as Google or Technorati.

2. Submit Your Blog to Search Engines

Get on the radar screen for the popular search engines such as Google and Yahoo! by submitting your blog's URL to them. Most search engines provide a 'Submit' link (or something similar) to notify the search engine of your new blog, so those search engines will crawl it and include your pages in their results.

It's important to understand that simply submitting your blog to search engines doesn't mean your pages will appear at the top of a Google search results screen, but at least your blog will be included and will have the chance of being picked up by a search engine.

3. Use and Update Your Blogroll

By adding links to sites you like in your blogroll, the owners of those blogs will find your blog and will be likely to add a reciprocal link in their blogrolls. It's an easy way to get the link to your blog in front of many readers on other blogs. The hope is that some of those readers will click on the link to your blog on the other blogs' blogrolls and find your content interesting and enjoyable turning them into loyal readers.

4. Harness the Power of Comments

Commenting is a simple and essential tool to increase your blog's traffic. First, respond to comments left on your blog to show your readers that you value their opinions and draw them into a two-way conversation. This will increase reader loyalty.

Second, leave comments on other blogs to drive new traffic. Make sure you leave your blog's URL in your comment, so you create a link back to your own blog. Many people will read the comments left on a blog post. If they read a particularly interesting comment, they are highly likely to click on the link to visit the commentor's website. It's important to make sure you leave meaningful comments that are likely to invite people to click on your link to read more.

5. Syndicate Your Blog's Content with an RSS Feed

Setting up an RSS feed button on your blog makes it easy for your loyal readers to not just read your blog but also know when you publish new content.

6. Use Links and Trackbacks

Links are one of the most powerful parts of your blog. Not only are links noticed by search engines, but they also act as a tap on the shoulder to other bloggers who can easily identify who is linking to their sites. Linking helps to get you noticed by other bloggers who are likely to investigate the sites that are linking to them. This may lead them to become new readers of your blog or to add links to your blog from theirs.

You can take links to other blogs a step further by leaving a trackback on the other blog to let them know you've linked to them. Blogs that allow trackbacks will include a link back to your blog in the comments section of the post that you originally linked to. People do click on trackback links!

7. Tag Your Posts

It takes a few extra seconds to add tags to each of your blog posts, but it's worth the time in terms of the additional traffic tags can drive to your blog. Tags (like links) are easily noticed by search engines. They're also key to helping readers find your blog when they perform searches on popular blog search engines such as Technorati.

8. Submit Your Posts to Social Bookmarking Sites

Taking the time to submit your best posts to social bookmarking sites such as Digg, StumbleUpon, Reddit and more can be a simple way to quickly boost traffic to your blog.

9. Remember Search Engine Optimization

When you write your blog posts and pages, remember to optimize your pages for search engines to find them. Include relevant keywords and links but don't overload your posts with too many relevant keywords or completely irrelevant keywords. Doing so can be considered spamming and could have negative results such as your blog being removed from Google's search entirely.

10. Don't Forget Images

Images don't just make your blog look pretty, they also help people find you in search engine listings. People often use the image search options offered by Google, Yahoo! and other search engines, and naming your images with search engine optimization in mind can easily boost your traffic.The blogosphere is a big and busy world with over 100 million blogs and growing. How do you attract visitors to your blog? Follow these simple tips to drive traffic to your blog.

11. Consider Guest Blogging

Guest blogging can be done when you write a guest post on another blogger's blog or when another blogger writes a guest post on your blog. Both methods are likely to increase traffic as your blog will be exposed to the other blogger's audience. Many of the other blogger's readers will visit your blog to see what you have to say.

12. Join Forums, Web Rings or Online Groups

Find online forums, web rings, groups or social networking sites such as Facebook and LinkedIn where you can share ideas and ask questions of like-minded individuals. Add a link to your blog in your signature line or profile, so each time you post on a forum or participate in another online network, you're indirectly promoting your blog. Chances are many people will click on that link to learn more about you.

13. Promote Outside Your Blog

Promoting your blog shouldn't stop when you step outside the blogosphere. Add your blog's URL to your email signature and business cards. Talk about it in offline conversations. It's important to get your name and your blog's URL noticed offline, too.

14. Nominate Yourself and Other Blogs for Blog Awards

There are a number of blog awards given out throughout the year. Nominating yourself and other blogs and bloggers can draw attention to your blog and drive traffic to it.

15. Don't Be Shy

The most important part of the blogosphere is its community and much of your success as a blogger will be tied to your willingness to network with that community. Don't be afraid to ask questions, join conversations or just say hi and introduce yourself. Don't sit back and hope the online world will find you. Speak out and get yourself noticed. Let the blogosphere know you've arrived and have something to say!

Creating a three column (or a wide, two column) canvas - Blogger template design series====Credits to bloggerbuster

When I begin to design a new Blogger template, the first thing I take into consideration is the overall layout. Creating the perfect layout is crucial to the design process, and should be the first step in designing a custom Blogger template.

The most popular layout styles for Blogger blogs are:

  • Three columns, with sidebars to the left and right
  • Three columns with two sidebars to the right
  • A wide two column template, with a wider posts area and a wide sidebar to the right

So in this installment of the Blogger Template Design series, I will offer basic instructions for how each of these layouts can be constructed. Then in the next installment, I will focus on tweaking these layouts in order to make the canvas complete.

For the purpose of this series, I have created a demonstration blog which you can view here. This demonstration blog will be used to demonstrate customizations throughout the series, and will include links back to each chapter of the series for your reference.

Things you should consider when deciding on your blog layout

Visual appeal is not the only thing you should consider when deciding which layout you will adopt for your template. The three different styles I highlighted above can all serve different functional purposes; depending on you wish to display in your sidebars, one or other may be better suited to your needs:

  • Three column templates with sidebars to the left and right are best suited to blogs which don't use many Javascripts or images in the sidebars.

    This is because Javascripts and images call upon different servers and slow down page loading time. If you have many scripts or images loading in the left sidebar, this can delay the loading of your posts, which is off-putting for new visitors to your blog (especially those who access the Internet through dial-up!)
  • Three column templates with both sidebars aligned to the right are a good choice for blogs which feature a lot of different content in the sidebars.

    This style helps neaten the content of sidebars, prevents lengthy loading delays of the blog entries (the primary content) and stops the sidebars from becoming too long in relation the main content on post pages.
  • Two column templates with a wide posts section and wide sidebar are most suitable for those who feature ads in the sidebar, or who need much content to be "above the fold" of the page.

    Wider sidebars allow for wider ads, or rows of the popular 125x125 square ad boxes which can feature higher up the page. Also, it is easier to display wider images, or text blocks. A wider posts section will also allow more content to be featured above the fold, and can prevent home pages from becoming too lengthy.

With this in mind, let's take a look at the different methods available for creating a template canvas.

The best way to create a customized template...

Is to base this on an existing template!

Blogger templates contain a vast variety of tags and code, which is very difficult to reconstruct by hand. By basing your customized template on an existing template which already has tags and code in place, you will make the job much easier for yourself, and will save hours (if not days) of time troubleshooting a hand coded template.

The recent poll I offered concluded that the most familiar template to Blogger Buster readers is the Minima template, so for the purpose of this series, I will base all tutorials on modifications of this template. By the time this series is complete, the resulting "demonstration" template will not resemble Minima at all!

Before we begin!

I would strongly recommend that you use a test blog to create your customized template rather than interfere with your main blog. For more information about test blogs, take a look at this post, or read through my guide to essential tools for customizing Blogger templates.

If you choose not to use a test blog, you must back up your existing template before making any changes to it!

From this point forwards, I will assume that you are either using a test blog to create your new template, or that you have fully backed up your existing template.

Making a wider template

Over the years, the default Blogger templates have not changed much. Aside from the stretch designs (which are designed to accommodate the entire width of the browser window), most are rather narrow when compared to the size of most readers' browser screens.

So the first thing we will do to the Minima template is make it wider. The resulting width will then be large enough to include either two sidebars (instead of only one), or alternatively a wider posts column and a thicker sidebar.

The optimum width of a blog template

Most modern blog templates, whether hosted on Blogger, Wordpress or Typepad platforms, are between 800 and 950 pixels wide. This seems to be the optimum size range for blog templates, as this width can accommodate two sidebars or an expanded entries column.

I would recommend that you make your template no wider than 950 pixels. Even though this width may not fully span the width of your own browser window, you can be fairly certain that it will not run off the screen of smaller browsers.

In these tutorials, I will show you how to create a blog layout which is 950 pixels wide, though you can certainly make this a different value if you prefer.

Alter the outer-wrapper

The overall width of the Minima template is determined by the "outer-wrapper" div. This is styled within the section of the template as follows:

#outer-wrapper {
width: 660px;
margin:0 auto;
font: $bodyfont;

To change the width of the template to 950 pixels, we simply need to change the line highlighted in red to this:

width: 950px;
After this change, my demonstration blog now looks like this:

As you can see, there is now a wide gap between the posts column and the sidebar. We can fill this gap by using one of these methods:

  1. Creating a second sidebar
  2. Widening the main posts column and the sidebar

Depending on your choice of blog layout, you will need to use one of the following methods for your custom template.

Creating a three column template (with a second sidebar)

Although I have previously written a post about this method, I have decided to revamp my method here to add some extra functionality to the finished template.

In this tutorial, we will create the following dimensions in the layout:

  • Two sidebars, measuring 250px in width
  • The main posts column will be 450 px wide

This ensures regularity of each element, and will make it easier to add margins and passing at a later stage.

Change the width of the sidebar

It is easier to change the width of the existing sidebar before we add another one. To do this, open your template (no need to expand the widget templates) and find this section of code in the section:

#sidebar-wrapper {
width: 220px;
float: $endSide;
word-wrap: break-word; /* fix for long text breaking sidebar float in IE */
overflow: hidden; /* fix for long non-text content breaking IE sidebar float */

Change the line highlighted in red to this:

width: 250px

Your sidebar will now be slightly wider.

Adding the style for the second sidebar

Before we can call the secind sidebar in the blog template, we will need to add the styling for this sidebar, and make it unique.

Find and copy this whole section from your template (this is the section we modified in the previous step):

#sidebar-wrapper {
width: 250px;
float: $endSide;
word-wrap: break-word; /* fix for long text breaking sidebar float in IE */
overflow: hidden; /* fix for long non-text content breaking IE sidebar float */
Once you have copied this to your clipboard, paste this section of code immedietly beneath the original set of code. Then change this line in your newly pasted code:
#sidebar-wrapper {
To say this instead:
#new-sidebar-wrapper {

This is the identity of the div which contains the sidebar wrappers. Each div element which has an ID must be unique and should only be called once within the page. By adding the "new" part to the title of the style for the div, we can ensure the new sidebar will display properly.

If you want your second sidebar to fleat to the right of the main posts column, you can leave the styling as it is.

However, if you prefer the sidebar to appear to the left of the main posts column, you will need to change the following line:

float: $endSide;
To this instead:
float: $startSide;

This will ensure that your new sidebar will float to the left.

Calling the second sidebar in your blog template

To call the secind sidebar, we need to add a section of code to the actual template section. The location for this code changes depending on whether you wish the second sidebar to be aligned to the left or the right of the main posts column.

There are two possible locations for this second sidebar. Assuming you have not added any extra widgets to your Minima template, you will be able to find the following section of code in your Blogger template (do not expand the widget templates):

I have included some comments here to show where to paste the following code, depending on your choice of alignment. When you have decided where you would like your second sidebar to appear, copy and paste the following section of code in the appropriate place:

You should save your new template at this point.

There is currently no content in this second sidebar, so if you preview your blog, nothing will be displayed in it's place. But if you go to Template>Page Elements in your Blogger dashboars, you will see a new "Add page element" section. Here you can add a new widget and take a look at your blog to see how it will be displayed.

In my demonstration blog, I added the new sidebar to appear to the right of the main column which now appears like this:

Change the width of the main posts column

The final customization to this three column layout is changing the width of the main posts column slighly to make better use of the space available.

This is another simple edit. Simply find this section in the <>

#main-wrapper {
width: 410px;
float: $startSide;
word-wrap: break-word; /* fix for long text breaking sidebar float in IE */
overflow: hidden; /* fix for long non-text content breaking IE sidebar float */
Change the line highlighted in red to the following:
width: 450px;
Then save your template.

The finished result should look something like this:

You will notice that there is no space between the sidebars or main posts column. To make space appear between each sections, we will need to use margins and/or padding in the style section, which I will demonstrate in the next chapter of the Blogger Template Design series.

Creating a wide, two column template

Creating a wider template with added space for the main posts column and sidebar is a much simpler process.

In this example, we will make the width of the posts column to 650px, and the width of the sidebar to 300px. You can change these values if you prefer, so long as the total of these two sections is 950px.

Assuming you have already changed the width of the "outer-wrapper" to 950px, you will now only need to make two small edits to the style section of your template.

Change the width of the main posts column

The width of the main posts column is defined in the following section of code:

#main-wrapper {
width: 410px;
float: $startSide;
word-wrap: break-word; /* fix for long text breaking sidebar float in IE */
overflow: hidden; /* fix for long non-text content breaking IE sidebar float */
Simply change the line highlighted in red to this:
width: 650px;

Change the width of the sidebar

The width of the sidebar id defined in the following section of code:

#sidebar-wrapper {
width: 220px;
float: $endSide;
word-wrap: break-word; /* fix for long text breaking sidebar float in IE */
overflow: hidden; /* fix for long non-text content breaking IE sidebar float */
Again, you only need to edit the line in red to say the following instead:
width: 300px;

Finally, save your template and take a look at your newly widened blog. If you have used the same values as I did, your new template should appear like this:

As with the three column layout, you will notice there is no space between the sidebars and the main posts column. We will work on optimizing this canvas in the next installment of the Blogger Template Design series.

Final words

For your convenience, I have made each of the template layouts described above available for download as an XML template. To download any of these files, right click on the link and choose "Save As..."

Progress of the demonstration blog

For the demonstration blog which will accompany this series, I have chosen the three column design where the two sidebars are aligned to the right. You can view the progress of the Blogger Template Design Series blog using this link.

Coming soon

In the next installment of this series, I will explain how you can further modify this basic canvas to suit your requirements. This will include modifications to the margins, padding and the header section, plus a few other elements of the blog's style.

Please consider subscribing to the feed for updates to the Blogger Template Design series, plus Blogger related news and articles as they are posted.

Effect of custom domain conversion on traffic and PageRank

As you know, Blogger has introduced custom domain whereby you can register your own domain name and use it for your blog instead of the sub-domain of blogspot.com. Some may be deterred from using custom domain because it involves a change of URL (Uniform Resource Locator) and PageRank of the blog reduced to being not ranked, both which may reduce the traffic to the blog.

Last year I finally decided to make the leap and convert one of my less traffic blog, http://dummies-guide-to-google-blogger.blogspot.com/ to custom domain, namely http://www.blogger-book.com/.

Regarding PageRank, it did get downgraded from a PageRank of 4 to being not ranked at all. However, the PageRank of Blogger book has now increased to PageRank 1 and is expected to increase as time goes by. The best of all is, it appear that PageRank is not that crucial to getting hits (traffic) as the conversion to custom domain, despite the PageRank downgrad, did not decrease. In fact, from an average of 3020 unique visitors per month from the month of January to October (before conversion), the number of unique visitors have increased to 3976, an increase of 32% (see screen shot below):

However, before I convert, I saved all the permalink prior to conversion to custom domain to test whether the old permalink will be redirected to the new custom domain permalink. I am happy to report that all the old permalink is being effortlessly redirected to the new custom domain permalink (individual post URL).

statcounter statistics for custom domain conversion

Update: A blogger has complained that after conversion, traffic went down to almost zero. It turned out that the blogger registered the domain direct from Godaddy. In my case, I registered using Google Apps via SETTINGS > PUBLISHING, paid for the registration and did the conversion to custom domain all within Blogger, never directly through Godaddy. Looks like most of those bloggers experiencing problems with custom domain did it via Godaddy.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Quote For the Day

We have two eyes
and just one tongue

which means we need
to look twice
and talk once

we have two ears
and just one mouth so
we need to listen
more than we talk

we have two hands and
one stomach

so we need to work
twice as much as me eat

we have two brains,
left and right,
and one heart

so we can think


Monday, January 26, 2009

Past is Past

People say
"past is past"
you need
to move on
to see
the future but
how can you move on
your past
is the only thing
you ever wanted to be
with in the future

Quote of the day

when people hurt me
i think of them
like a
sand paper

they may scratch me
hurt me
but in the
i end up polished
and they end up

Friday, January 23, 2009

does TRUE LOVE exist? question by "headed to nowhere"

True Love Does Really exist in this world
its unexplainable
it has own reason.... and that reason is UNKNOWN
true love cant be seen in physical looks,mental ability,money......
but in the Heart...
mouth cant say...
brain cant think....

only the heart... can say... ^^
"Do i Love Him/Her???"

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Contact me

Send Letters To Dr. Love and let him solve your problem and
give you some
advice For FREE



Cellphone #:


mailing Adress:

#29 sampaguita St. San vicente
Tarlac Cit, Tarlac

Full name:
Alleo Indong

"I Feel Trapped in This Relationship"

Dear Dr, Love

I am a 20 year old female that is in a relationship with a 25 year old man. We have been going out for three months now, but we fell in love after going out for three weeks. The relationship was a dream come true until very recently.
My boyfriend asked me to stay with him during my school break from college (2 weeks). This seemed like a long period of time and I was a little nervous inside because of concern over my need for space.
Despite this apprehension, I agreed to the arrangement. He said that it has been the best time of his life while I felt like I was going crazy after the two weeks were over. I told him that I needed to go away for a few days so that I could have more freedom, more space, and get more things done. I complained that I felt like I had gotten married overnight. I was confined to the house most of the time. It took him a while to finally give me a key and I am isolated from transportation and friends. I felt like he wanted me to adapt to his ways of doing things instead of doing things my own way.
When I wasn't living with him, he would still come straight from work and take me out for a great time. Since I've been staying with him, we mostly go out to run errands, go to the grocery store, and take the trash out!
Every time he was around he wanted me to be with him (For example: if I was watching TV, he would want me to stop so that I could lay next to him while he was on the phone.) I told him that simple things make me feel in control (being able to come and go as I please, working outside the house, etc.) but I felt like he was trying to be in control. I told him that made me feel unhappy so I had to go back to my original environment for a little while.
Meanwhile, he keeps saying he wants to ask me to marry him someday, he wants me to have his children, he wants me to live with him permanently after I graduate in May. I'll admit that we've had some wonderful times together. But I'm feeling suffocated.
After we discussed these things, he voluntarily said he would change. He said he didn't think he was controlling but that possibly I thought so because of the way he said things and that he would try to be more careful. I told him that I am a very independent person and I need time for my own activities and interests. He said he will value my privacy more.
This is all nice but I am still feeling awkward about going back to stay with him. I feel more irritated by him that ever and my need for space seems to grow everyday.
I feel overwhelmed and confused. I keep telling myself that love will keep us together despite my recent doubts.
What should I do?


This guy may be great and wonderful but you are in an entirely different life stage. You are definitely not ready to play house.
Your feelings are right when they tell you that being confined is not right for you at the age of 20. We need to keep in mind that he is five years older than you and may be more ready than you are. This relationship, as loving as it is, was not equipped to handle coming home and doing chores.
You had your best times when you could go out and have fun. You need to keep doing this. So many young people make the mistake of giving up their late adolescence and early adulthood, which is a time of discovery and experimentation, to be committed to someone they might eventually outgrow.
We change the most between the ages of 20 to 28. All your feelings of being stifled are telling you that you need to be much freer than you are with this young man. Your heart is telling you that you can't handle this so listen to it.
Try to go back to the stage where you are merely dating. Errands and chores at your age will deprive you of the period of experimentation and growth at the sacrifice of what he needs you to be.
I can't stress how strongly I feel that you need to break away from this and discover your own life as a separate individual before you make this kind of choice.
What if you wake up in five years and say, "My God, I've missed five years of my development!"
I guarantee you this is what will happen.
Your feelings are correct. Pay attention to them.


Sa Isang Jeep

Pasahero: Mama, Magkano Po Yung Pasahe?

Driver: 7.50 Yung Minimum

Pasahero: (Dumukot Ito Sa Bulsa Para Kunin Yung Pera Niya, Ngunit sa Di Sinasadyang Dahilan Kulang Yung Pamasahe Niya.) Patay, Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Paano Kaya Ito? (Nag Isip Ito At Lumingon Sa Driver. Napansin Niya Na Duling Ito. Sabi Niya Sa Kanyang Sarili, Tama Duling Yung Driver Sigurado Pag Nagbigay Ako Ng 3.75 di Niya Mapapansin Na Kulang Yung Pera Ko. Kasi Doble Yung Paningin Nito. Inabot Niya Sa Driver Yung Pera.

Ngunit Laking Gulat Niya Nung May Sinabi Yung Driver Sa Kanya.

Driver: Kulang Ito!

Pasahero: Anong Kulang? Di Ba Sabi Mo 7.50 Yung Minimum?

Driver: Oo Nga 7.50 eh Dalawa Kaya Kayo.

Patay! Akala Mo Lusot Kana ha?

Lottery Winner

Sa States, isang Bikolano ang nanalo sa Lottery. Takbo agad siya sa Lottery Office para kunin ang ang pera.
Bikolano: I want my $20 million!

Lotto Official: No, Sir, Hindi po ganoon ang pag bayad namin. Sa umpisa, bibigyan ka namin ng 1 Million. Every year thereafter, Ibibigay namin sa iyo ang 1 Million.

Bikolano: Kailangan ko na ang buong pera ngayon!

Lotto Official: Talagang hindi pwedi dahil may kasulatan diyan sa likod ng ng ticket na hindi pwedi ang Lump Sum!

Bikolano: Look, I want my money now! Pag hindi niyo ibibigay ang $20 million ngayon, mabuti pa, Ibalik niyo na sa akin ang $1.00 na puhunan ko sa ticket!!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I Will Love You Forever

I love you so deeply,
I love you so much,
I love the sound of your voice
And the way that we touch.
I love your warm smile
And your kind, thoughtful way,
The joy that you bring
To my life every day.
I love you today
As I have from the start,
And I'll love you forever
With all of my heart.

- Amanda Nicole Martinez -

Love Is ...

Love is the greatest feeling,
Love is like a play,
Love is what I feel for you,
Each and every day,
Love is like a smile,
Love is like a song,
Love is a great emotion,
That keeps us going strong,
I love you with my heart,
My body and my soul,
I love the way I keep loving,
Like a love I can't control,
So remember when your eyes meet mine,
I love you with all my heart,
And I have poured my entire soul into you,
Right from the very start.

- Meghan -

Monday, January 19, 2009

Your Name

I wrote your name in the sky,
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.
I wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay.

- Jessica Blade -

Never Have I Fallen

Your lips speak soft sweetness
Your touch a cool caress
I am lost in your magic
My heart beats within your chest

I think of you each morning
And dream of you each night
I think of your arms being around me
And cannot express my delight

Never have I fallen
But I am quickly on my way
You hold a heart in your hands
That has never before been given away

- Rex A. Williams -

Love poem 4

You're my man, my mighty king,
And I'm the jewel in your crown,
You're the sun so hot and bright,
I'm your light-rays shining down,

You're the sky so vast and blue,
And I'm the white clouds in your chest,
I'm a river clean and pure,
Who in your ocean finds her rest,

You're the mountain huge and high,
I'm the valley green and wide,
You're the body firm and strong,
And I'm a rib bone on your side,

You're an eagle flying high,
I'm your feathers light and brown,
You're my man, my king of kings,
And I'm the jewel in your crown.

- Nima Akbari -

Love poem 3

A stranger you were once.
Then, with a gentle look you took my hand.
As our lives engaged,
you lit my life and I held both your hands.
Now that decades have passed,
ours souls have indeed become one.
How fortunate we are
that we have found the love so true
that everyone dreams about.

- Laura Veronica Merodio -

Love poem 2

A gentle word like a spark of light,
Illuminates my soul
And as each sound goes deeper,
It's YOU that makes me whole

There is no corner, no dark place,
YOUR LOVE cannot fill
And if the world starts causing waves,
It's your devotion that makes them still

And yes you always speak to me,
In sweet honesty and truth
Your caring heart keeps out the rain,
YOUR LOVE, the ultimate roof

So thank you my Love for being there,
For supporting me, my life
I'll do the same for you, you know,
My Beautiful, Darling Wife.

- David G. Kelly -

What I Love About You

I love the way you look at me,
Your eyes so bright and blue.
I love the way you kiss me,
Your lips so soft and smooth.

I love the way you make me so happy,
And the ways you show you care.
I love the way you say, "I Love You,"
And the way you're always there.

I love the way you touch me,
Always sending chills down my spine.
I love that you are with me,
And glad that you are mine.

- Crystal Jansen -

Love poem

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.

- Courtney Kuchta -

An Entrapment

My love, I have tried with all my being
to grasp a form comparable to thine own,
but nothing seems worthy;

I know now why Shakespeare could not
compare his love to a summer’s day.
It would be a crime to denounce the beauty
of such a creature as thee,
to simply cast away the precision
God had placed in forging you.

Each facet of your being
whether it physical or spiritual
is an ensnarement
from which there is no release.
But I do not wish release.
I wish to stay entrapped forever.
With you for all eternity.
Our hearts, always as one.

- Anthony Kolos -

A special world

A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.

- Sheelagh Lennon -

"I'm In Love with Two Girls"

Dear Dr. Love

I feel really bad for having to write this as it's something I should be able to sort out myself but I can't.
Basically, I love two girls dearly and I can't choose between the two.
I met Anne 18 months ago� We had some great times at the beginning but I always found myself wanting more, but never did anything about it and worked hard at our relationship.
She's a lovely girl but always needs someone in her life, she's very dependent on people.
I found myself resenting her occasionally as I too needed attention and found myself always having to give it.
She's such a sweet girl, but sometimes too sweet and that frustrated me as she got walked over from time to time.
We ended up moving in together and everything seemed Ok.
Well, she was over the moon and found myself feeling more and more trapped. Having to convince her I loved and cared for her. This took it's toll on me.
Do I sound bad saying that ? We got on really well but were never on that same level you want out of a relationship.
I could explain things about work, life, music etc and it went straight over her head. I'd just get the "Ahh.."Erm.." Really".. As if it was never being taken it.
I never got over the fact that I could come home after a bad day and explain everything to her with no advice back, on the other hand I always had to be a pool of information for her.
One day at work a girl came to our offices. She was working with us for 9 weeks on work placement. We clicked in so many ways it scared me. We got on so well from the start.
I promised myself nothing would come of it as it was so evident that we really liked each other.
To cut a long story short we ended up kissing on a night out and that was it. She's such a beautiful girl, listens to everything I say and understands.. Always has good advice to give me etc.. We did the usual office fling bit and went for lunches, walks in the park etc�
I ended up moving out of my house with Anne and moving into my brother's house whilst still seeing Ellen, the new girl.
Anne had no idea what was going on. I never told her I was seeing someone else, I didn't want to hurt her more than I already had.
Now 3 months down the line I don't know which one I want to be with. I love Anne so much, but I also love Ellen with the same passion. It's like Ellen gives me what Anne doesn't and vice-versa.
Anne wants me back and Ellen and I are still together.
Part of me wants to "go home" and part of me is scared to stay with Ellen.
I'm so confused. I love them both very much.
I guess one of the main reasons I can't decide is because of where I am living. In a single room at my brother's house.
My house with Anne is cool, we had it set up nice.. I miss that. I miss her. But when I see her it's so different.
She's the same sweet sweet girl who wouldn't harm anyone� But at the same time she frustrates me because she's so "soft".
Ellen is the complete opposite. She's a strong girl and I love her for that.
Anne is working away at the moment. She won't be local to me for 3 or 4 months. I feel so lonely and desperate at times but how can I as I have Ellen? I miss Anne all the time but is it because I'm in a situation right now that I don't like so I go for the easiest option and go home.
But what about Ellen? I can't just walk out on that, I Love her. I can see us being together forever, but I thought that about Anne? I feel like such a shit. I never saw my life ending up like this, at 28 !
It seems so text-book. So, problem page in a mag.
I just wish I could turn the clock back.
Any advice is good advice, please help.

Regards, Tim

You can't love two people equally so lets get that straight right now.
I don't think the problem is choosing between two women: I think the problem is that you haven't really learned to take care of yourself fully yet in a grown up and adult fashion.
Here's what I mean. You are 28 years old and living with your brother.
You want to go back to Anne's house because she takes care of you. You don't have to bother setting up your own place because you so easily fit into hers.
In a sense, she is like a mother to you. She is soft, sweet, understanding, and puts up with you.
You also don't respect her quite as you should and think she is way too "soft." I think she represents the part of you that is childlike and needs to be taken care of. You imagine that you are taking care of her when actually she is taking care of you.
Ellen, on the other hand, is independent, passionate and self-sufficient. She also doesn't live near you so you don't have to really put this relationship to the test as of yet.
She represents another piece of yourself, the independent and sensual man. She attracts you greatly but you haven't been in the same place with her long enough to make a decision about her.
My belief is that when we are in a situation such as this, when we cannot choose between two people and feel "in love" with both, that we are not actually in love with either.
Both of these women satisfy a different need of yours.
Anne takes care of you, provides you with nice home, and makes you feel safe and nurtured.
Ellen is passionate and sexual which is the opposite side of the same coin.
I suggest that you may be deeply attracted to each of these women, but that you haven't evolved fully into your own life to actually make a decision as a mature adult.
Further, I haven't heard you say what you provide for either of these women. You seem way more focused on what they do for you.
In a mature adult relationship, we give and take equally. You are taking from both of these women, but what are you actually providing for either or both of them.
Here's my advice. Get your own life in working order before you make any decisions!
Move out of your brother's house and get your own place. Make sure your self-esteem is based on your own achievements and that you feel more fully evolved and centered whether that means working things out personally and/or professionally.
You don't mention your family background but my sense is that their may be some mother issue at play here.
You may think you are being good to these women, but, in reality, you are lying to both and misrepresenting your availability.
The bottom line is that we can't really and truly fall in love until we love and value ourselves. Other people cannot complete us or be used to fill up the empty spaces within ourselves.
I would work on my own life and feel more loving and complete within myself before putting pressure on myself to choose either of these ladies.
After you have grown a bit, you might be able to make a better decision, or, you might actually find someone completely different!
Good luck in your search, and please keep me posted as to your progress.

another Quote

The first time my heart was broken I thought I was through; I swore I'd never love again and believe me this was true, but when you walked into my life the second your eyes met mine, I knew you were worth loving, just like before, just like the first time.

"My fiancee doesn't want to discuss 'problems' in our relationship"

Dear Dr. Love

I am getting married in four months. I have been engaged for four years. However, my fiancee and I have at least two major issues. I just don't know if this is serious enough for me to consider backing down from marriage.

My fiancee and I are not seeing eye to eye on money issues. He feels that when we are married once the bills are paid for each person should have allowance money to spend. The catch is the other person should not ask what the money was spent on.

An example is, he spends money on CD's or a football jersey that's over $200.00. If he used it from his allowance money I should not complain. I'm not ok with this. My parents have been together for over 30 years and consult every detail of their expenses together. My fiancee feels that this is like "reporting" to the mate.

My other problem is that whenever something bothers me (other than money matters), I feel I can't tell him without getting upset.

I email him or try over the phone. This doesn't work. He never wants to hear the bad he only wants things to always be on the upbeat. However, I have issues I want to discuss.

I feel he keeps me from expressing my feelings which turn into resentment. Lately, I have really been questioning my relationship.

Please help me. I'm getting married in four months and am afraid of failing. Please Help ME!!!! Any advice will much be appreciated. I need to hear an expert's advice.

THank you,

Miss G.

You are right about one thing: these issues will not go away once you are married and need to be resolved ASAP.

Before I get into the issues themselves, you two need to seek some kind of premarital counseling before the wedding. Many couples do this with excellent results. You two have known each other for four years. I wonder why you are just beginning to get scared.

You are with someone who basically does not allow you to communicate with him and who shuts out anything he doesn't want to hear. How can a relationship progress unless the two of you can really talk.

While I think each partner should have discretionary cash to spend as they choose, your problems are way deeper than money. As a rule, money issues are usually symbolic of deeper problems. I think your fiance, for whatever reason, has difficulty dealing with anything he doesn't want to hear.

Marriage is a long and serious lifetime arrangement. It is virtually impossible that issues won't arise which he will need to address.

You obviously come from parents who had an exceptionally close relationship. You are engaged to someone who believes that nothing serious needs to or can be discussed. This belief system does not bode well for a relationship in which problems which come up can be solved and the fact that you are already feeling resentment is a bad sign.

My advice is to tell him that you need to find some kind of forum in which you two can talk about the underlying issues before you go ahead with this marriage.

What else can you do unless you plan to hold things in for the rest of your lives together! Tell him that your mutual future happiness with each other depends on open and honest communication.

Frankly, without it, this marriage, or any relationship for that matter, doesn't stand much of a chance.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

More Txt Msg Quotes

Never rush in love for it never runs out. Let love be the one to knock at your door, so by the time you start to fall, you know that your feeling is for sure.

Love has its ups and downs, its twists and turns. Love leaves you pain, teaches you until you learn and even if love takes so long, it always takes you to where you belong.

Women listen to music because they are in love. Men listen to music because they want to fall in love.

Some people don't get any respect at all because they are asking for the respect they deserve.

You don't marry someone you can live with. You marry the person who you cannot live without.

There is no such a thing as ignorance, but only degrees of wisdom.

Love is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end, coz love is all there is.

Traffic. The black spell that makes commuters forget they are in love.

Love and stars are similar in one way. They keep you looking up every night.

There are two things rain helps improve: agricultural production and Philippine population.

It's better to lose your pride with someone you love, rather than lose that someone with your useless pride.

The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.

When everything goes wrong, push! When you wish for something, push! When people don't understand, push. When you wish for love, P-ush U- ntil S-omething H-appens!

Guilt: The inner voice that tells us that Someone may be looking.

Being single is cool. No worrying about anyone, no obligations and best of all, no heartaches. But you know what? If you will never get your heart broken, you will never learn to love.

Looking at men who are drunk is a mistake. Looking at women who are drunk is a temptation.

Women fall in love through their ears, and men through their eyes.

Each of us is a star. Sometimes we shine with the rest. Sometimes we twinkle alone. Sometimes when we least know it, we make someone's wish come true.

Home is the only place where one does not get homesick.

Every ten seconds, somewhere on this earth, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and most often in the tongue of the liar.

A person is happy if he has a problem and enjoys solving it.

Girls are like cell phones, they like to be held and talked to, but press the wrong button and you're disconnected. Guys are like buses. If you miss that one, another will be along soon.

It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good too to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money cannot buy!

In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek.

Relationships are like traffic signs 1-way, 2-way, do not enter, no U turn, no left turn, but the best so far is give way and keep right.

Being happy all the time is kind of boring.

When you love somebody, be ready to take the intensity of emotions. Be jealous, anxious. Love with all your might. Take the pain and everything that comes with it. Just make sure that the person is worth it.

Words and hearts should be handled with care... for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.

It's amazing how one person can bring you so much happiness and pain in your life. Maybe it's really love knocking when he can make you so happy that you forget all the pains. So don't forget all the happiness when he breaks your heart.

It takes three seconds to say I love you, three minutes to explain, three hours to demonstrate, three days to appreciate, three terms to produce it, but a lifetime to prove it.

The best thing about an enemy is that he tells the truth about you.

Say good about yourself and you'll be called arrogant; say bad about yourself and you'll be believed.

Some flowers grow best in the sun; others do well in the shade. God plants us where we grow best and gives us loved ones to grow with.

There is no absolute freedom. When your girlfriend says, "I love you", that is her freedom. But then again, will you let her say, "I love you" to every man.

Love can never be taught for it is to be learned; love can never be bought for it is to be given; love can never be kept for it is to be free; love can never be old for it lives to last a lifetime.

When a battered wife learns to fight back, blame the husband. He showed signs of weakness. When a battered husband learns to fight back, blame the wife. She took too far.

Love is magic. The more we hide it, the more it shows; the more you suppress it, the more it grows.

It is always a pleasure to listen to persons bragging about their humility.

We forgive those who bore us but cannot forgive those whom we bore.

"He says he loves me but won't kiss me"

Dear Dr. Love

I've been seeing a guy on/off for about 4 years now. (Both 22) We were instantly attracted the day we met 6 yrs ago at work and that day he asked me out but I said no, don't get me wrong I should have, I had butterflies in my stomach but did not know anything about the guy and was scared.

We used to flirt like crazy with each other until he lost his job and I didn't see him for a year. We bumped into each other and things started happening despite the fact he was with someone. It ended with them but then I went to university so we both thought a relationship would be hard so we didn't get together.

Since then we have both been in relationships whilst being involved with each other, sometimes physically but mainly just emotionally, we would phone and text each other daily despite me being away at school. For the past year we have been unofficially seeing each other off and on, he says he doesn't want a relationship with anyone right now (he doesn't know why, he just doesn't). I've asked if he thinks we will ever have a relationship in the future and he just doesn't know but admitted if we did it would be great.

He constantly reassures me he cares for me and has strong feelings for me as I do him. We both say we don't want to lose each other as we have grown so close we regard each other as best friends. To add to the complication he says he doesn't like kissing. I know he has done so with his gfs (he says he didn't particularly like it then either) but he won't kiss me. We do everything but he can't give me a solid reason for this either, just says he doesn't particularly like it.

This and the non-commitment causes arguments and sometimes either one of us calls it a day saying we should just be platonic friends, every time we do we end up with each other again. I've walked away from the whole situation three times before, taking advice from friends, thinking it would be better for us. But because I class him as one of my best friends it hurts me, I don't want to give up such a good friendship. He refuses to give my things back and tells me it's because he doesn't want to let go. Each time I do this it hurts him badly and I don't want to do it again.

Is this guy stringing me along? I don't think so but why wont he kiss or commit to me? Is this normal? Should I stop reading too much into this and not need a label on our relationship?

I am happy with him the way things are but need a clearer view of if this is a lost cause or if there is a more secure future ahead.


You are right, you are confused, and, by the way, so is he.

I am sure that if you read this letter over again, or, had you received such a letter from a friend, you would tell them to run from this young man, and not look back.

Seriously, just how many red flags have to wave before you can see there is no future here and, if there is, it is bleak! Here is a guy who says he loves you, but is involved intermittently with others, who won't kiss you ( heaven knows why!) , who won't commit to you, and, who says they don't really want to get involved on the girlfriend/boyfriend level. Why do you think there is a chance for something to happen? I literally don't see your reasoning.

Further, you are asking the wrong questions. The question should not be whether or not he has genuine feelings for you but rather, whether he can ever be emotionally stable enough to make you happy. (I doubt it.) As well as you might think you know, believe me, you don't. There are far too many things about him that are "mysterious" and which he refused to give you any satisfactory answers for.

I realize you met him when you were just 16 and, at that age, all kinds of romantic fantasies occur, but now you are 22 and are still thinking like a girl of 16. Please, grow up!! Whatever this guy is telling you may be true and I am sure he doesn't want to lose you, but what do you really have: a guy who frustrates you who won't commit. Why do you think this is going to change?

I think you are just hung up on the 6 year old fantasy that makes your heart beat faster when you think of him. Fine, but don't you think he has just taken "hard to get " to the point of absurdity. How good can all this make you feel. To me, it speaks of just plain misery spiced with a little excitement. This is hardly my idea of a relationship with a future.

As far as a platonic relationship goes, I don't think that would be possible until you no longer want anything more from it. It is just going to get harder and harder to sustain because you are so attracted to him. Remember, attraction is only one part of a relationship. Loyalty, commitment, responsibility and maturity make up the rest.

My advice: end it. Yes, even the friendship. At least for now. Why do you need someone who doesn't give you what you need. How good a friend is he if he gives you such mixed messages. Do you really think that this skewed communication is friendship? I know it will be hard because you are kind of addicted to the push-pull aspect of this and the imbalance it causes but he is nothing more than a bad drug of which you need to totally break the habit and get it out of your system, once and for all.

Believe me, I am right. Turn away and don't look back.